You might have read articles about co-parenting with a former spouse that you dislike intensely. But what if the opposite is true? How do you co-parent successfully with an ex you still love, even though the ink on your divorce papers has dried already?
What you need to keep uppermost in mind, whatever your feelings are for your ex, is your children’s emotional health. They must always come first. Working with your ex to assure that the kids thrive mentally, physically and academically despite your marital split has to be foremost.
What can you do to move past your feelings and co-parent?
Think about trying these strategies if you are struggling with the emotions sparked by your ex:
- Put a workable co-parenting plan in place. Stick to its guidelines.
- Give yourself a chance to overcome your lingering feelings. There is no quick fix. It just takes a while.
- Confine your interactions with your ex to those solely connected with the youngsters.
- Accept that your former spouse is always going to have a voice in your family.
You may have pangs of lovelorn yearning every time you see or speak to your ex. You might wince when they say they are dating again. These reactions are human and understandable. Just because the marriage ended does not mean that your feelings for the person you wed ended, too. However, your focus needs to shift to going forward constructively for your own and especially your children’s sake.
Be open-minded and realistic
By cooperating with your ex to minimize disruption to the kids’ lives, you are acting as a good role model for them. You have also taken a step toward getting your own life normalized again. If you are stuck on things like how to establish a viable parenting plan, obtain the information you require.
Will my spouse pay for my attorney’s fees?
You decided to file for a divorce because your spouse cheated on you. It was a relatively simple situation, and you decided to walk away.
The problem is that you’re now having to pay to go through a divorce that you didn’t want. Your spouse’s errors led to your filing, and you’re losing money because of them.
Should your spouse pay for your attorney fees?
What your spouse should or should not do is really down to the circumstances. Some spouses may agree to pay for your court costs and attorney fees as a part of your divorce settlement. Others may refuse to pay, because you’re the one who is filing for divorce with the intention to leave them.
If your question is if the court can step in to force them to pay because of their mistake, that’s a different matter, and it’s complicated.
Can a court force your spouse to pay your attorney’s fees?
If you can show that you are filing for divorce because of adultery, then you might think that your spouse will have to pay, but there is no requirement. Arizona is a no-fault state, which means that while you can ask for them to pay, that isn’t necessarily going to happen because of the court’s requirements.
Arizona also recognizes covenant marriages, which could add a layer of complication to your case. If you have a covenant marriage instead of a standard legal marriage, you will be required to show fault to get a divorce. You may have to go through counseling, too.
In that case, it may be more reasonable to seek attorneys’ fees as the divorce is technically your spouse’s “fault,” but there is no guarantee that they’ll be paid out to you.
Your best option in most scenarios is to negotiate the fees as a part of your divorce settlement. If you can show that you need the fees to be paid because you’re the lesser-earning spouse, for example, then you may be able to get them covered. In some cases, a judge can also order the other party to pay at their discretion based on the Arizona statutes.
Talk to anyone who has gone through a divorce, and they will tell you it is no laughing matter. Essentially, divorce signals the death of a dream. And if children are involved, divorce basically means that your children may never share a living space with both parents for the rest of their lives.
A lot can go wrong during the divorce, especially if the process is marred by emotions. Here are three financial mistakes to avoid while dissolving your marriage.
Getting deeper in debt
Once it becomes apparent that divorce is inevitable, you need to realize that your finances will never be the same again. Until you make the necessary adjustments to your financial situation, it is important that you avoid getting into debt or long-term financial obligations. If you have not been actively involved in household budgeting, then you need to start off by creating a budget and living within your means.
Failing to have a clear account of marital assets
Divorce means separation. And part of that separation involves accounting for and dividing marital assets per Arizona marital property division law. To ensure fair distribution of marital property, it is important that both parties make full disclosure of what they own. The last thing you want is to walk out of the marriage with the burden of unshared marital debts or less than you deserve.
Overlooking the taxes
As your marital status changes, so will your tax situation. You will belong in a different tax bracket with a new filing status. It is important that you understand the tax implications of the divorce so you can make appropriate adjustments to your withholdings. You may want to consult a tax expert regarding your new tax obligation to avoid unpleasant surprises down the road.
Divorce is a significant life change that can leave you with many uncertainties. Find out how you can protect your financial rights and interests during the divorce process.
If you and your spouse are always at odds and things seem like they aren’t going to get better, you may be in a hurry to file for divorce – but you have to wait a little.
After filing the divorce petition, Arizona law imposes a waiting period of 60 days before moving forward with the divorce proceedings. This is a good time to see if you can work things out, but there are other steps you can use to take full advantage of this time.
Gather information
You can spend the 60 days gathering information and documents you will need for the divorce proceedings. Be sure to focus on financial information, both yours and your spouses. All this will be necessary for property division and determining things like child support and alimony.
Work to resolve disputed issues
It’s a good idea to try to resolve as much of your divorce with your spouse before going to a judge. Doing this will help make sure things move smoothly and keep costs down since you won’t spend time arguing in court.
Get ready for trial
Ideally, you’ll work everything out with your spouse and come to agreements without needing the court to step in. For contested divorces, however, it may be necessary to testify. You can use the 60-day waiting period to practice your composure and responses to questions in court.
The 60-day waiting period is called the “cooling off” period. While some couples may rethink their situation, it’s also a great time for you to get ready for the divorce. Use the tips here to ensure that you take the steps necessary to prepare yourself for the process. This will likely help you save time and money in the long run.
Substance abuse damages not just the individual who can’t control their chemical dependence but also their closest family members. People dependent on drugs or alcohol may be dangerous when under the influence and angry and unpredictable when unable to access their substance of choice. They may become unreliable and volatile and can cause financial issues as they seek to support their habits.
If your spouse has struggled with drinking or drug use, you may have tried to encourage them to seek treatment for their issues. Their habits may have had significant negative consequences for your family, especially if it affects their employment. Their substance abuse could easily be one of the reasons you decided to file for divorce.
You may worry about your ex having parenting time. If you have documentation of the issue, you will be in a better position to protect your children.
Judges know how substance abuse hurts kids
Family law judges want to create custody orders that are good for the children in a family. The rights of the parents are far less important than the long-term health of the children in the family. In most cases, it is good for the children to have time with both parents.
When one parent has a serious substance abuse issue, that may not be the case. The parent drinking or using drugs could be negligent or violent during their parenting time. Medical records, police reports and even social media content could help you show the courts that your spouse has a history of dangerous overindulgence. The courts may then factor that information into how they divide your parental responsibilities.
Understanding the rules that govern child custody matters can help you be a better advocate for your children during a divorce.
If you’ve ever wondered exactly how many divorces happen each year, it may be because people often talk about divorce rates. They want to mention the percentage of marriages that end in divorce and statistics of this nature. But that doesn’t really tell you exactly how many couples go through this every year.
It can be difficult to find the exact number, but reports indicate that more than 630,000 couples get a divorce every single year. Not only are the reports slightly in excess of that number already, but they only account for the statistics from 45 states and the Washington D.C. area. Five states did not report numbers to the study, so it is likely that the total number is much higher.
It is also worth noting that, since every divorce case involves two people, more than 1,260,000 individuals go through a divorce annually.
Divorce is a common occurrence
If you’re going to take anything away from this type of report, it should be the fact that divorce is common. It happens to a lot of couples and it is certainly not something you should assume will not happen to you. It’s important to be realistic about the odds of divorce because that helps you consider your legal position and the different options that you have.
Marriages end, but life continues, and it’s wise to look into all of the legal steps that you can take to ensure you have a bright future after your divorce. Key points to consider include how to divide the assets that you and your spouse own and how to split up the time with the kids if you are parents.
When Arizona parents divorce, if they cannot agree on a child custody arrangement, a judge needs to decide the matter. They may ask for input from the children in question if they believe they’re old and/or mature enough for their wishes to be considered. The judge, however, makes the final decision.
Arizona state lawmakers are considering a bill that would give some teens a greater say in physical and legal custody decisions. The bill, HB2642, would amend the current law to say that any child who is 14 years of age or older and “sufficiently mature so that the child can intelligently and voluntarily express a preference for one parent” can choose how custody will be divided.
The judge would still make the final decision. However, the child’s preference would be “considered presumptive” unless the judge decides it’s not in their best interests.
The bill also addresses the preferences of children under 14 years of age. The language in the proposed legislation says that the court “shall strongly consider” the wishes of a child who is younger than 14 but “of suitable age and maturity unless those wishes are determined not to be in their best interests.
The bill passed overwhelmingly in the Arizona House of Representatives. It still needs to be considered by the State Senate.
Are kids capable of making good decisions about their custody?
Family law and mental health professionals have expressed concern about giving children greater authority in these decisions. One clinical psychologist notes, “Their frontal cortex, which is the decision-making part of the brain, doesn’t really develop until their mid-20s. So, we’re asking that kids who are not good at making executive decisions be in charge of those decisions.”
If the bill were to become law, Arizona would be giving teens and those even younger more say over their custody than they have in any other state. The proposed legislation, however, still has a long way to go before becoming law.
While it’s typically best when older children can have some say in these decisions when their parents’ divorce, it’s a big responsibility to place on their shoulders – and one they could easily end up regretting or feeling some guilt about. When parents can negotiate their own custody decisions, with legal guidance, they’re more likely to arrive at an arrangement that’s in their children’s best interest and with which they both believe is fair.
Do Arizona mothers always get full custody?
Shared children are a common reason that otherwise smart and functional adults stay in unhealthy and damaging relationships. They worry that ending the relationship will cause trauma for the children and fear that they may not have time with the children afterward.
Whether you married the mother of your child or have shared a long-term relationship without a formal commitment, it is true that ending your relationship will affect your relationship with the children as well. However, you don’t have to worry about getting cut out of the children’s lives, in most cases.
Many fathers in Arizona worry about ending a relationship because they think that the courts always give full custody to the mother if she asks for it. Do mothers really receive preferential treatment in the Arizona family courts?
The law does not discuss your gender or parental role
For there to be a structural bias against fathers in the family courts, the Arizona civil code would need to support that kind of bias. If the law talked about different parenting rights for men and women or mothers and fathers, then you would likely see a marked discrepancy in the custody outcomes for parents of different sexes or genders.
However, Arizona has neutral language in its custody laws. It does not talk about men, women, fathers or mothers. Instead, it simply focuses on parental relationships and the best interests of the children. In most cases, the courts consider keeping both parents involved to be in the best interests of the children.
You can share in parenting time and legal decision-making authority
There are two main kinds of custody available in Arizona. There is parenting time, which is when you get to be with and have responsibility for your children. Then there is legal decision-making authority, which grants you the right to enroll your children in Sunday school or take them to the doctor for medical attention.
You can request to share parenting time and decision-making authority as an Arizona father. Unless the courts hear evidence that such arrangements would not be in the best interests of your children, shared custody is a common result of litigated custody matters. Learning the basics about Arizona’s child custody laws can help you feel more confident when you make decisions in other areas of your life.
What exactly is a drug possession charge?
There are certain drugs that are illegal to have. Even though the United States is a free country and you’re an adult, it’s still illegal to have certain substances. If police officers find drugs in your possession, they’ll arrest you for drug possession.
Drug possession is one of the less serious drug charges. In short, it means that you’re being charged with having an illegal drug in your possession in such a small quantity that it’s assumed you’re using it for personal use.
The location of the drugs is often key to the charges
There are many factors that go into what charge a person faces. In the case of a drug possession charge, the person doesn’t have to have the drugs on their person. Instead, they only have to be somewhere the person has control over.
Here’s an example: The police raid a party at your house. They find you in your bedroom and notice a bag of cocaine on the nightstand, they could reasonably assume the cocaine is yours if you’re the only person in your bedroom.
It’s sometimes possible that more than one person has control over the area where the drugs were found. This makes the case complex, but it’s something that a defense strategy could address.
A conviction on drug charges can have a profound impact on the rest of your life. You must take your defense seriously even if you’re “only” facing drug possession charges. Understanding the options that you have can help you to make the decision you feel is in your best interests. Remember to start on the defense strategy as early in the case as you can so you aren’t rushing at the last minute.
Property division during divorce is not always fair. In some cases, your ex-spouses may hide some marital assets to benefit themselves financially. It mostly happens when the divorce is acrimonious, and they feel like getting one over you will make them feel better.
Therefore, you should be wary of hidden assets since you will end up with a lesser share than what you deserved from the marital estate. Failing to disclose all marital assets is akin to stealing from you.
Do you have evidence of the hidden assets?
The truth is that there are countless ways to hide assets, and some may require a trained eye to point out. To protect your interests, you need to conduct due diligence on your marital estate. Were there assets that changed hands in the days or months leading to the divorce? Did your ex-spouse create a trust to separate assets from the marital estate?
Most of your work is done once you have evidence of the hidden assets, such as financial records or witness testimony. The rest lies in bringing it to the court’s attention.
What happens next?
Hiding assets is not taken lightly in family court. This is because it overrides the interests of justice regarding property division following a divorce. If your ex-spouse is found to have hidden assets, the ownership of the said assets may be transferred to you.
Additionally, legal action may be taken against them for lying under oath or contempt of court. They could also be ordered to pay the legal costs involved and compensate you for any expenses incurred to uncover their discretion. What matters is that you get your fair share of the marital estate.
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